Burned Out on Burnout
The word burnout has become one of those overused words that loses its meaning, like ‘literally’ and ‘triggered’.
There are so many different types, sometimes I feel burned out on burnout.
Overload burnout, the one we typically think of, where you are frantically working harder to achieve success but at the cost of your health and personal life.
Caregiver burnout, a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that happens when we’re caring for someone.
Neglect burnout is when you’re not given enough structure, direction, or guidance in the workplace, making it hard to keep up with demands or meet expectations that are unclear. You end up feeling uncertain, frustrated, and incompetent. Sounds like how everyone feels in their twenties.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
And then there’s Mom Burnout.
Mom Burnout is ALL burnout types wrapped into one giant emotional and physical tsunami.
As moms, we are caregivers frantically trying to achieve the “success” of raising kind, decent humans without ending up divorced, all the while navigating conflicting and changing expectations and standards that are unrealistic and damaging to women’s mental health.
No wonder we’re constantly tired, yelling before we even realize it, and feel like a failure as a parent and human on a regular basis.
Mind over Matter
You don’t need to read all the research to know that mindset is a major determining factor in our overall happiness; and, therefore, our ability to find and maintain balance.
Our mindset is the beliefs and opinions we hold about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Our mindset is shaped by our culture, family’s values, our unique adversities and triumphs, whether we grew up rich or poor, the way we were raised and so on.
A burned out mindset is an angry brew of criticism, shame, insecurity, and doubt. And to add insult to injury, all that negativity burns us out more. It’s a feedback loop of feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired.
A lack of confidence and fear will derail even the best goals and intention, no matter how important.
While we are not to blame for our burned out mindset, it is our responsibility now, as an adult, to flip the script. Growing up, we didn’t have the capacity to know the bully’s taunts weren’t true or that you don’t have to look like a Disney princess to find happiness. But, we do have the ability to reprogram our brains. Yay for neuroplasticity!
From Burned Out to Balanced
To change our mindset from burned out to balanced, we first have to examine it closely. Listen to your inner dialogue. How does it sound in those really overwhelmed moments? What are some unhealthy beliefs or overly critical judgments you have of yourself and others?
Over the next several weeks, I’ll be writing more about different factors that can negatively impact our mindset. The more obvious ones are being bullied as a kid or having an abusive parent. But, you may not have noticed the subtler ones that have seeped into your inner dialogue over the years.
In the meantime, check out this article where I bust up common myths about being organized. And if you don’t already have a copy of the Balance Formula workbook, there’s a link in that article.