Hi, I’m Amanda—and I have anxiety.

In this article, I’m sharing my most-used, go-to strategies for managing anxiety before it turns into full-on burnout. These are the exact tools and mindset shifts I teach inside my group coaching program, Burnout to Balance, and use in my own daily life.

Whether you’re an overwhelmed mom juggling a million roles, or just trying to survive the chaos of everyday life without losing it, I hope this post reminds you: you’re not alone—and it doesn’t have to feel this hard.

Signs My Anxiety Is Taking Over

Let’s get honest about what anxiety looks like in real life.

It’s not always panic attacks or sleepless nights. For me, it looks like:

• Snapping at my kids, my husband, or myself.
• Overthinking every small decision (like what’s for dinner or which backpack to buy).
• Feeling paralyzed by simple tasks like folding laundry or helping with math homework.
• Guilt for resting, asking for help, or not enjoying every moment of motherhood.
• A constant hum of “not enoughness” in the background of my day.

When anxiety builds up, burnout isn’t far behind. I start feeling crispy around the edges—tired, impatient, resentful. And when I ignore those warning signs, I end up crying in the shower or wanting to numb myself with TV.

Sound familiar?

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned as a therapist is this:

Your inner critic is not the enemy. It’s trying to protect you. It just learned some really unhelpful strategies.

So instead of silencing that anxious inner voice, I’ve learned to connect with it.

Step One: Connect with the Inner Critic

I know—it sounds counterintuitive. Most people want to shut their inner critic up. But when I started approaching mine with curiosity and compassion instead of shame and avoidance, everything changed.

Here’s how I do it:

1. Understand the Fear Beneath the Criticism

When I feel the anxiety building, I pause and ask: What is this part of me afraid of?

The answer is usually something like:

• “You’re going to drop the ball.”
• “People will be disappointed in you.”
• “You’ll forget something important.”
• “You’re not doing enough.”

That anxious voice is trying to keep me safe by keeping me hyper-alert and over-functioning. But that’s no way to live.

2. Offer Empathy and Reassurance

I don’t yell at my inner critic or try to shut her down. I say something like:

“I see you. I know you’re scared. I don’t want to fail either. But we’re doing the best we can. And that’s enough.”

Sometimes I use mantras to help anchor myself:

• “Grace and compassion for myself and others.”
• “We have everything we need within us to feel calm, confident, and courageous.”
• “We don’t want our kids to feel the way we did growing up.”

I remind that part of me that we’re safe now. That we’re capable. That we don’t have to hustle for our worth.

That’s what healing sounds like.

Step Two: Stick to Systems That Calm the Chaos

When I feel my nervous system spinning out, I reach for my systems—not just my self-help books.

Systems are my safety nets. They give structure to the swirl. They turn overwhelm into action.

Some of my favorite systems include:

• Financial Fridays – a weekly check-in with our money.
• Sunday Planning Sessions – where I look at my week ahead, map out priorities, and make room for what matters.
• The Balance Formula – my simple method for organizing tasks and time into Must Dos, Have Tos, and Want Tos.

These systems aren’t about rigid control—they’re about clarity. They help my brain slow down. They help my anxious parts feel less frantic and more prepared.

When I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, I don’t spiral. I open my To Do App, where I keep track of my systems, and start with step one.

(If you want to try a couple of these for yourself, check out the free Balance Systems Workshop I created—it walks you through exactly how to start.)

Step Three: Treat Want Tos Like Must Dos

Here’s the part that moms have the hardest time with…

We’ll cancel our own haircut before rescheduling the dentist. We’ll stay up late folding towels instead of going to bed early. We’ll skip lunch to answer work emails or clean up the kitchen again.

But here’s the truth:

You cannot survive on Have Tos and Must Dos alone. You need Want Tos.

Me Time isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. It’s how we refill our tank so we can show up for everything else.

That means your Want Tos—things like reading for fun, painting, walking alone with a podcast—have to become non-negotiable.

Right now, I’m reading The Last House on the Street by Diane Chamberlain. It weaves together civil rights history with a modern-day mystery and reminded me how healing it is to escape into someone else’s story.

Want Tos are the things that remind us who we are outside of motherhood, marriage, and work. They matter. And they have to be part of the plan.

Real Talk: You’re Not Failing, You’re Functioning in Survival Mode

If you’re snapping at your kids, crying in secret, forgetting simple tasks, or feeling like you can’t keep up—you’re not failing. You’re running on fumes.

Most moms aren’t struggling because they’re doing too little. They’re struggling because they’re doing too much of the wrong stuff, without enough time, rest, or support.

And they’re trying to do it all while battling an inner critic trained by trauma and a culture that says you should be everything to everyone—with a smile.

Burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s a cultural crisis. But there is a way out.

What You Can Do Next to Break the Burnout Cycle

If you’re nodding along and thinking “yes, this is me,” here are a few small but powerful steps you can take:

✅ 1. Name the Inner Critic

Start noticing what it says, when it shows up, and what it’s afraid of. Awareness is the first step.

✅ 2. Use Calming Mantras

Choose a phrase that feels grounding and compassionate. Say it in moments of stress or overwhelm.

✅ 3. Implement One System

Pick one system that feels easy and helpful. Maybe it’s a weekly planning session or setting a recurring reminder for your Me Time.

✅ 4. Schedule a Want To

Put something you want to do on your calendar this week. Treat it like any other appointment—non-negotiable.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Balanced Life

I know how hard it is to break the cycle of anxiety and burnout—especially when the world keeps asking for more.

But balance isn’t a myth. It’s a practice.

It starts with how you talk to yourself. It grows with systems that support you. And it’s sustained by the things that bring you joy—not just responsibility.

You deserve a life that includes calm, creativity, and compassion—not just chaos and control.

If you’re ready for more support, I’d love to have you inside my group coaching program, Burnout to Balance. We dive deeper into these exact strategies and walk the path to balance together.

Because you don’t have to do this alone.

💬 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

• What’s something you want to do this week that could help refill your cup?
• What’s a mantra that helps you feel more grounded or supported?
• What’s on your reading list right now?

Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear from you!